Educational theorists will tell you the cornerstones of child development are empathy, perseverance and critical thinking. These people have clearly never witnessed a perfectly trimmed paper dart achieve full living-room glide.
Granted, empathy is useful, but it won’t help you dominate a Year 3 classroom fly-off.
A properly folded plane will.
At five years old I believed my dad had a doctorate in Paper Aeronautical Engineering. The man folded with monk-like focus; razor creases with military symmetry. If a fold was a millimetre off, he’d mutter something about “drag coefficients” and start again.
I learned early that straight lines matter and that nothing - absolutely nothing - beats the feeling of holding a crisp, freshly folded A4 dart in your hand (which remained true until I discovered Hazy IPAs).
Below are three designs that will equip you and your co-pilot with one of life’s great paper weapons. All are achievable by reasonably evolved mammals with opposable thumbs and a willingness to blame poor performance on wind conditions inside your own kitchen.
The Paper Javelin:
Best for: Speed
This one is the perfect entry level plane - quick to fold and brutally efficient; under optimal conditions with committed wrist action this thing has been known to create sonic booms somewhere between the sofa and the radiator. Note: it’s nose is sharper than a high end sashimi blade so stand behind the thrower and don’t be this guy.
1. Fold your paper in half then flip over
2. Bring the top corners into the fold, leaving a small gap between the edge and centre
3. Fold the edge in again to the centre crease (leaving a small gap again)
4. Aaaand again
5. Now fold in half and then make the wings by bringing the top edge down to the bottom
Voila
The Brydon Classic
Best for: Gliding
This design has been passed down through generations of Brydons alongside male pattern baldness. Family legend maintains that one, emblazoned with the words God Save The Queen, was launched with such ferocious vigour during the riots of 1891 that it sheared the plume clean off a passing cavalry officer’s hat and altered the course of minor local politics. (History may dispute this. We do not)
Unlike the Paper Javelin, this one is a glider; a long, lingering cruiser of airspace that has a habit of defying the rules of gravity. This is the plane you make when you want a stranger to murmur, “Blimey.”
1. Fold the top right corner down to the left side
2. Do the same with the other corner and then open it up
3. Push the sides in…
4. …and it should look like this
5. Take these two new corners up to the top
6. Fold the nose down, and then fold the plane in half
7. Create the wings on both sides
8. Make some wing tips and hey presto.
Suzanne
Best for: Breaking records
In 2010 a former colleague quarterback launched this badboy 69.14m and secured himself a Guinness World Record. The astonishing part? It isn’t especially difficult to fold. No advanced trigonometry, just clean lines and decisive creases.
Master ‘Suzanne’, and you’re not sending your kids into school - you’re deploying them.
1. Fold in half, then flip over
2. Bring top edge down to the left edge
3. Repeat on the other wise then open up
4. Fold the right end into the diagonal line (leaving a slight gap)
5. Repeat on the left side
6. Fold the top down, creating a new fold where the two diagonals meet
7. Fold in again to the central fold line
8. Fold in half
9. Create the wings with the fold beginning just above the nose then running diagnally up to 2 inches at the back
10. To secure, tape down the visible flaps, or open up again and fold over as above
Unleash a 70m’er